Sign up for our newsletters    

Sign up for our newsletters   

Baltimore City Paper home page.

Two Baltimore-ites busted for rappelling Procter & Gamble: VIDEO

March 13, 2014
By
Courtesy of Greenpeace

Courtesy of Greenpeace

So a week ago a bunch of Greenpeaceniks went all commando on Procter & Gamble’s Cincinnati headquarters, and it didn’t make the news here that I saw.

One of the protestors, Marcella Largess, is from Baltimore. Another, Nima Shahidi, hails from Fallston.

They were protesting the use of palm oil, saying its harvest threatens Indonesian wildlife.

No matter what your thoughts about palm oil, you have to admire–or at least respect–the balls displayed here. They walked in dressed in business attire with rolling suitcases. Two crews rappelled down separate towers, and one person—it’s not clear who—ran a zipline between them so they could fly across dressed as a frickin’ Sumatran tiger:

Man, what a party.

No one was hurt, everyone was busted. The operation went off, apparently, exactly as planned.

We’ve long been amused by the FBI’s routine depiction of animal rights and environmentalist types as “terrorists,” but in this case the mistake is not so funny, as all nine suspects were held on un-makable $50,000 cash bails.

Yesterday they were indicted on felony burglary and vandalism charges. Allegedly they broke window locks worth $17,000.

Of course, P&G security and the Cinci cops are all fretting about “what if.” As in what if they were bombers? What if they had guns?

Right. So let’s make every building, from courts to capitols to corporate castles utterly “secure.” Make sure no one can get in without a full body scan; maybe a cavity search. And, by all means, never, never trust that the citizen before your very eyes is just that—and not some fanatic strapped with Semtex and ball bearings. Yup. Trust no one. Assume the worst.

Then civilization will be safe.

Tags: , , ,

  • George Lopez

    That’s pretty awesome!