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Speak Up, Hon

December 14, 2010
By

Denise Whiting’s efforts to trademark the word “Hon”—a la J Lo and her booty or Paris Hilton’s “that’s hot”—have pushed many Baltimoreans over the edge. Whiting’s hopes to profit off of Baltimore’s precious word have even got some people calling for massive unrest at next year’s Little Miss Hon competition.

Local zine Smile, Hon, You’re in Baltimore! is offering a way for people to channel their negative energy into a positive project. Smile is seeking submissions of stories, essays, poetry, photography, and artwork about the significance of the word “Hon.” The publication asks people to share their thoughts on the term’s “celebration and exploitation.” The deadline for submissions is Jan. 15, 2011.

Smile’s plan sure sounds much healthier than waiting till 2011 and said unrest to pummel a beehive-donning baby boomer on the Avenue.

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  • Captain America

    http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/8/80280/2544744-tumblr_m7p7wwEAEW1r34y4ho1_500.jpg

    I just saw Captain
    America and loved it. There were 911 style building explosions (America’s
    version of the atom bomb that appears in every Japanese action anime film ever
    made ever). There were witty one liners followed by lots of punching. And shooting,
    pew pew! There was a villain who was far cooler than the hero; where Loki was
    more charismatic than Thor, Winter Soldier was more badder asserer than Cap.

    But
    it was long and faltered from the Marvel formula. What’s the Marvel formula?
    Well true believers, I’ll tell ya.

    1.
    Set up a serious, ominous scene.

    2.
    Next, add action. Punctuate the action with witty one liners. Have the heroes
    make light of the loss of life around them with some nonchalant banter. Like
    throwing Fonzy in Platoon!

    3.
    After this, cool off. Build character a little. Send them to a museum or to
    visit an old woman. It’s filler. Your audience are salivating dogs waiting for
    their next Pavlovian idiot pill of action.

    4.
    Repeat.

    Remember,
    you are making a marvel movie. Everything that isn’t a beat em up scene is the
    commercial break for another beat em up scene.

    Again,
    I loved Captain America. I enjoyed it despite it’s goofy MacGuffian Algorithms,
    plot holes, waffling villain motivations, and the many other flaws I won’t list
    to avoid spoilers. (Ask me about Fury and the Aircraft carriers, why they were
    launched at the end of the film, and hitting precise targets with rockets)

    However,
    I have issues with people who give this movie a pass but are critical of other
    obviously fun movies – like Into Darkness. And worse, I am volcanically
    irritated by people who complain that Nolan’s Dark Knight MASTER-FUCKING-PIECE
    was too grim and serious… but I understand why they did now. Like good dogs
    waiting for their idiot pills, waiting for aliens and space elves to start the
    karate fights, something comes out that they had to chew on.

  • http://www.sosbeevfbi.com geral sosbee