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Baltimore parking: It’s either really great or really terrible, say visiting writers

May 6, 2014
Photo by Mel Guapo

Photo by Mel Guapo

Parking in Baltimore is either a shangri-la of open pavement that leaves writers from much busier metropolises dumbfounded in its availability or a clusterfuck of cars that signifies the city is following in the footsteps of America’s mecca for hipsterfied gentrification, Brooklyn, N.Y., U.S.A. At least those are the opinions of the Washington Post‘s Marc Fisher (he of gobsmacked-by-parking fame) and Stephanie Lang, a producer on Veep who also offers four additional reasons—great coffee, Hampden, local restaurants, and food trucks—Baltimore is ripe for a Girls spinoff.

Here are their respective descriptions.


Oh man, the parking. We park five times in 14 hours on Saturday, for a total cost of $1.70. Plus a free overnight spot immediately across from our downtown hotel. For a Washingtonian, this is a small urban miracle.


Parking is hell: If you’re the new Brooklyn, you’re bound to have Brooklyn-style problems. The biggest one for Baltimore is its parking predicament, which feels like “parkingmageddon” every time you venture out. Good luck trying to find a spot anywhere in Federal Hill. I suggest parking on Key Highway and taking a hike up the hill or leave your car and cab it. In fact, parking in Baltimore might be worse than in Brooklyn.

Firstly, let us note that Federal Hill is home to the American Apparel most mismatched with its surrounding market in the entire United States. Brooklyn 2.0 it is not.

Secondly, parking in Federal Hill can suck. Parking in Federal Hill can also work out just fine. Maybe, you know, the way people use and park their cars is a thing that fluctuates and cannot be hammered down as being one way or the other. Except for Canton, which residents insist is a black hole in the parking universe.

At least paying for street parking will get a little bit easier now that the Parking Authority is looking to partner with an app that allows drivers to pay parking meters using their mobile phones.


  • Jed Weeks

    Ok, Parking Expert™ let’s see how you do in the Brandon Weigel Alleycat.